Monday, May 5, 2008

分手之後才相愛 - WHY?

關於這個問題,我的想法是:「情人分手之後,最基本是不要成為仇人就好,至於能不能當朋友,就要看雙方的緣分和造化。」

畢竟,朋友有很多種。

有些戀人分手之後,還假借朋友的名義藕斷絲連,繼續噓寒問暖搞曖昧、保持財務往來、甚至還有性關係~
不論對自己本身、分手的人、或未來新交往的情人,都存在負面的影響。

只想聊聊同居感受
本來,我認為兩個戀人分手之後,不見面、也無須聯絡,若能默默關心對方,給予祝福,彼此記住對方揮手時轉身離開剎那間優雅的姿態,就是最美好的結局了;但是,最近世傑跟我分享的切身經驗.
讓我見識到了另一種可能:分手之後才開始相愛。

世傑和芳瑜原本是一對校園情侶,大三那年開始租屋同居後,為細故爭吵不斷,畢業前夕決定分手,各奔前程。五年之後,他們在網路交友頁面上發現對方資料,知道彼此都還單身,從幾封電子郵件開始往返聯絡,但彼此都沒有想要復合的動機,只想聊聊同居在一起那兩年的感受。

以這種模式交流半年多,直到芳瑜認識一位很不錯的網友,展開新的戀情,才告一段落。結束最後一次MSN的時候,他們互相感激彼此,以成熟的態度幫助對方了解自己。世傑說:「直到那一刻,我才發現自己真的曾經愛過!」

相互體諒讓愛完整
他們的經驗,讓我想起一部日本小說《錦繡》,作者為日本文學巨擘宮本輝先生,描述夫妻離婚數年後,在風景區的同一部纜車裡重逢。女方再婚之後帶著智能不足 的孩子旅行,竟然和依然保持單身的前夫巧遇,於是開始漫長的通信。漸漸彼此理解、相互體諒。他們並沒有想要讓婚姻破鏡重圓,卻因此而讓愛更完整。

分手之後才相愛,這是感情的一種很高境界。並非為了舊情復燃,而是要撫平各自心中的感情缺憾。此刻,我們才會明白,世界上有一種愛,不是天荒地老的相守,而是天長地久的相知,讓分手後的情人,嘴角還會出現祝福的微笑。

Some people just don't appreciate the relationship that they have. Even been so lucky, they still feel that they still lack of something. Until the time the lost it, and they couldn't find back their love, they just start to know how important each other is. Love is not about a person but its about to person who experienced things together. It immature sometimes when u fight for love, but it's more childish if you breakup because of arguing. Why can't we just take arguing as a way of understanding each other better? Why must we break up ? What happened if u wake up tomorrow find out that it is just a misunderstanding. There are 3 things that u can take back in life.

1) Time that had passed

2) Loves that you give

3) Words that you said

Perhaps it is right that the greatest of all love is not being together with each other but to let each other had their happiness. A friend of mine once told me that sometimes love is selfish. Rather than loving someone, sometimes it is better if we are love by someone~!

Adeline, Flo and Dj Tanaka

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